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Society tells us that success is having a good paying job, nice clean house, good spouse, and money
When we acquire these things then we can feel accomplished These are the things that happy successful people have When we all know that is bullshit Rich, successful, beautiful people kill themselves or drug themselves to escape depression all the time Starving children who have nothing but a tin can to kick around can experience pure joy Yet we are conditioned to think that things outside of us create happiness like a house or job and in order to feel better we make changes to our circumstances rather than diving into ourselves and taking responsibility for our emotions and our experience. The truth is things outside of you do not create your emotions It is your thoughts about the things outside of you that create how you experience the world We must learn to trust in our own opinions and beliefs we can stand on those with confidence and let the world be wrong about us The problem is many of us have beliefs that were given to us by society, our peer group, and/or our parents and so we take action seeking approval from others We feel good about ourselves when we can say, "Hey look! I’ve checked all of these boxes so I’m doing life right." The world says, "I guess they have it all figured out." When really deep down there are parts of ourselves that have been neglected We continue to live our lives doing what we think we should do rather than living the life we really want to just so we can maintain an image that is accepted by society But what is your definition of success? How do you define beauty? What does strength and power look like to you? What are we left with when we stop looking at the world to tell us how to think and feel about ourselves? We are left with our own opinions, our own thoughts and that is where we will discover who we are and what we want There is nothing more powerful than this knowing
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Decide on the life you want and make decisions that move you toward your desires
You get to decide what your purpose is and what you want your legacy to be You decide the kind of impact you want to make for your family, friends, and the world Sitting around thinking I don’t know where to start will keep you stagnant I don’t know shuts down creativity and possibility Decisions move you forward and give you direction Decisions create progress You can make the most of resources you have now You can make the best decision with the information you have now You can trust that no matter what happens you will figure it out There is no wrong decision There is only living and learning and moving forward  What gets you out of bed in the morning on your darkest days?
One day I was watching YouTube videos of tsunamis People captured video footage of homes and humans getting swept away by the sea I came across one video of a man crying uncontrollably He said that the tsunami had taken everything from him In one day, his family, home, job, and community had been washed away He looked up at the sky and said “I am all that is left. Why would you leave me?” As though the devastation he felt was so overwhelming he wished he had been taken too When everyone you love and everything you have worked for gets stripped away, what else is there to live for? It scared me that I didn’t blame him for wishing he was dead I had never thought of myself as someone who would entertain the idea of giving up on life My heart broke for him In one instant death seems scary and in another inviting Death could be a way to escape the pain I realized that my family was what I had been living for They were what I looked forward to and if I could not share this life with my loved ones then it wasn’t a life I wanted But then I remembered something: The universe owes us NOTHING Our families and everything we love in this life are gifts They are not something we are entitled to Some people live and die never knowing the kind of love I that I have had the privilege of experiencing I decided that no matter what happens If there are people out there who need love, I will always have a reason to get out of bed in the morning Love has the power to heal trauma and builds others up Love is what the world needs now I gave myself a new purpose, something more to live for When dark days come and your fears surface, be present and do not run from them Listen to what the darkness telling you You get to decide how to answer it If you answer it with, “I don’t know” You will get lost in confusion If you answer it with “I would have nothing else to live for” the darkness will consume you Emotionally it might feel like you are falling down a black hole with nothing to hold onto, nothing to ground you Usually when this happens we look up at the sky and ask for answers We are desperate for someone to throw us a life line We ask for a purpose, a reason to live What we fail to realize that our purpose isn’t something we find outside of ourselves We create it by making a decision about how we want to spend our time here You do not have to worry about getting it wrong All you have to do is explore your mind, listen to your intuition, and follow your heart You can stop looking to the sky for answers You can stop waiting on someone or something to give you direction My purpose isn’t fancy It is to wake up everyday and love others It is my anchor, what grounds me If you are interested in building a legacy and making a difference, begin by seeking to understand yourself first If you looked your fears straight in the eye, what could you learn about yourself? If everyone you love and everything you have worked for gets stripped away, what would be worth living for? Make a decision Let that be your life line Let that be what lights your path on your darkest days  I was very happy in my marriage when I decided to leave Most people do not believe me when I say that They think there had to be a deeper rooted problem The truth is I loved my ex-husband and still do But I left because I wanted to and that was reason enough I had changed and so my desires had changed I had grown into someone knew And this knew Julie needed to walk alone for a while When you have an intimate relationship with yourself you get good and listening to your needs and following your desires
You get good at trusting yourself to make the best decisions for your life regardless of what your parents, family, or friends think Allow the world to judge you Let them think you are crazy Let them think you are selfish Let them think you are broken You don’t have to justify your actions to anyone and people do not have to understand you This doesn’t mean that we don’t consider or value the opinions of those we care about It just means that you are one who knows how to best live your life Make sure you are living it for you and not for anyone else Get to know yourself on the deepest level Give yourself time and space to let your mind wander and see where it goes Don’t be afraid to explore and question your beliefs Don’t be afraid of change or of what others might think Listen to your nudges and follow your curiosity Seek out your desires Take action to get the things you want This is the process of alignment  You don’t want to be the person lying on his or her death bed wishing you would have been brave enough to go after the life you want most.
Because failing isn’t the tragedy Never trying is Believe in your ability to handle falling on your face, learning, and moving forward with more data Doing this over and over will be the way you bring yourself closer to what you want Because what you don’t want is to settle You don’t want regrets You don’t want a life dictated by fear Life is a beautiful experiment What do you have to lose? Do you want to be strong?
I have always liked the idea of being a person who could be the calm in any storm I wanted to be a person who is not afraid of walking into chaos So I set out to try to learn how I could become that person and this is what I have discovered so far: Strength comes from knowing that you cannot use your career, the amount of money you make, attention from others, your looks, your possessions, or your success to validate your worth Because when you do, you become dependent on those things to feel good about yourself Making you vulnerable and fearful because you know the moment those things are taken away, so is your confidence, your value, your sense of security True strength comes from choosing to believe that you and every other person were born 100% worthy Believing this helps us break away from that desire to impress others or to conform And that’s when you can shift your focus on connecting to yourself and lean into that part of yourself that aches to evolve, which is where you grow Strength comes from making a decision about who you are Because we are simply whoever we decide to be We decide what we want to believe about ourselves. We decide what we are capable of. Do you want to be strong? Then choose to believe that you are a person who will not shy away from the things that scare you That you will not shy away from the truth of who you are That if life breaks you, you will pick up the pieces and put them back together in a way that will makes you stronger and wiser Believe you are the calm in the storm and the person unafraid of the chaos because you believe in your ability to withstand what life throws at you When you have these beliefs about yourself you will go after success, growth, and the things you want, knowing that there is nothing to prove You will be driven instead, by the curiosity of testing your limits Strength comes from understanding the value of self-love and practicing it as you grow Because in those moments when you feel like you are failing at the things you care about most, it will be self-love that picks you up When your mind wants to tell you that you are just not doing good enough and that you should be working harder, that you should have had this figured out already or that you should be a better parent, spouse, daughter, brother, friend Use love to remind yourself that the reason you want to be better is because of how much you care Use love to remind yourself of all of the things you are doing right, that you forget to give yourself credit for Give yourself the unconditional love that every person needs Because on your hardest days when you feel like giving up, it will be love that holds you together, that keeps you from falling apart You can stop trying to earn love or worthiness through your accomplishments You can stop looking for it in how others treat you Do you want to be strong? Then you must learn how to believe in yourself and in your abilities Know that your value lies in who you are and nothing else Love yourself fully and stop telling yourself that you need to be fixed or that you are inadequate Strength has never been about fixing all of our flaws It has only ever been about self-belief and self-love Strength is not about being a master of fear It is about being a master of self Fear, doubt, and our imperfections will always be present when we are testing our limits and what we are capable of But they never have to be an excuse or a reason to tear yourself down—-that is a choice Who are you interested in becoming? What will you decide to believe about yourself? Will you choose self-love and self-belief? If you do, nothing will stop you You are strong You are capable You are worthy |
Julie CookI teach business professionals how to embrace the discomfort of growth to up-level themselves and their business. ArchivesCategories |
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